The Match
by Ebil Chameleon
Summary: A cracktastic rap battle between Sasuke and Kakashi! Excessive humor inside.


**The Match**

**Hi! Rach here again. Kit and I are watching the 50 hour marathon and this just popped into my head. Totally CRACKTACULAR! My favorite. This is on Kit's account because we want all of you to read it! It's on my account (you.broke.a.promise) and **_Tempting Kunoichis '_** as well! Review, please!**

**Situation: Sakura and Naruto look on as a major rap battle happens between Kakashi and Sasuke. In this, Sasuke and Sakura are dating, and Kakashi's task is to out do him in this rap contest!**

"My name is Sasuke, I am an avenger! I'm so awesome that you have to surrender!"

"Oh yeah!? Well, I'm Kakashi and I've got a hot body, My favorite thing to do is be naughty!"

"I'm an Uchiha with a goal, I'm gonna go have sex with that pole!"

Kakashi stopped and looked at him. "Weirdo."

"Whatever."

"I'm a Hatake who knows how to play hockey, I sometimes enjoy drinkin' sake!"

"I'm so impressive with my moves, there's no way you can copy this groove!"

"I can copy anything, I'm a special nin with a diamond ring, I got homies and hoes and I've stubbed a lot of toes!"

"Well my hair looks like a chicken butt, I'm a lot more dynamic than Kiba's mutt!"

"You can't do anything right! You've got a hot chick fallin' on you but all you do is fight!"

"It takes a man to admit that he cried! I did that when my parents died!"

"You're no man, you're just a fool! I'm so cool that all the ladies drool!"

"You can't match these tricks! You're just hung up on simple chicks!"

"I've got mad ninja skills! You can't even get close to these thrills! All the ladies they love me! They are hot and are all mine you see! They like my dirty books, and they enjoy my hot sexy looks! I am amazing, you can't compare! Not with that weird chicken hair!"

"My hair is great, so shut your mask! There's no way you can complete this task! You're a creepy pervert with no face, there is no point to this chase! I'm winning, I'm cool and you're a fool! Everyone in this place knows I rule!"

_Over on the sidelines Sakura and Naruto are watching, both sweat dropping._

"Yeah? Well, I'm wise, I'm suave, I'm smooth and sexy, Way way hotter than your stuffed animal Dexy! I know all about him, too! You can't hide that ratty kangaroo!"

"You just shut up, old man! He's real cool, he's my biggest fan! He's the greatest, you don't know! So shut up you big fat ho!"

"I'm no ho, you stupid fool! I'm so cool, I burned you at school! I graduated when I was five, so beat that you demented loser who's got hives!"

"I don't have hives you old fart! Stop stepping on my kangaroo's heart! He's too sweet, you can't talk, so shut up before I make so you can't walk!"

"Whatcha gonna do gonna do!?"

"There are plenty of uses for my shoe!"

"Lay off the drugs, why do you try!? You're too idiotic, stop getting high!"

"I'm not the high one you fat head! You're the one with drugs and porn in your bed!"

"_Actually," Sakura interrupted, talking to Naruto, "I've been to his house. It's surprisingly neat." Sasuke glared at her._

"You're going to lose! Don't you see? If Sakura was smart she'd set you free!"

"Take that back you stupid scarecrow! I'm captivating and I sport a cool looking glow!"

"What are you, a bug!? A weird glow worm? Go take a bath you big fat germ!"

"I'm no germ you unnatural haired freak! You go to ladies hot springs and take a peek! I caught you watching Yamanaka Ino! When she's mad, she's creepier than Shino!"

"Yeah well--"

"_WAIT!" Sakura screeched, "You…WATCHED Ino in a hot spring? YOU WATCHED MY BEST FRIEND?"_

_Kakashi sweatdropped, "Uh…"_

_Naruto moved over to where Sasuke was standing, "I can't tell if Sakura-chan is angry or jealous."_

"_Probably both," Sasuke rolled his eyes._

"_THIS MATCH IS OVER! KAKASHI! I'M BURNING YOUR PORN!"_

"_No, Sakura! I.. I didn't--!"_

_But Sakura was already racing for Kakashi's house. His eye wide with horror, he chases after her. In the clearing, Sasuke does a victory dance._

**For once, Kakashi **_fails_** in his task because of Jiraiya's influence… peeping. **


End file.
